Those choosing “it’s complicated” on Facebook relationship status updates have nothing on Elizabeth Gilbert. She’s been there, done that, had the ‘him and her’ (twice), and now her ‘her’ is dying. Confused? Read this article from The Guardian for background information on Gilbert’s coming out.
Recently the well known author of Eat, Pray, Love, amongst other titles, shared on Facebook that she left her husband and is in love with her female best friend, who has cancer. People have reacted to the news in various ways, from offering sincere support to criticizing her character and validity as an author. The author said:
“Untruth is always complicating, and truth — no matter what the consequences — is always strangely simplifying.”
Gilbert wrote about her second marriage in her book Committed: A Love Story and is known for her perspectives on relationships. Do the events of her personal life make any of her writing less valid or relevant? It should not be considered an altering factor, because each reader chooses to read the content and synthesize it in their own context. It is the author’s choice to share experiences and the readers’ choose to take them to heart or leave them. We create our own understanding of the world through our choices.
The Mastery of Love author, Don Miguel Ruiz, captured the essentials of developing ourselves first before becoming a part of any relationship. This idea aligns with Gilbert’s personal journey and discoveries – clarity begins with self-love.
“Let us trust ourselves completely to make the choices we must make,” Don Miguel Ruiz speaks on our role in our own self-directed lives.
While some also believe sexuality and sexual preferences are choices, I see them as fluid spectrums. Why must we be defined with labels? Who’s right is it to fit anyone into just one ‘box?’ How about the multiracial, multilingual, non-partisan individuals? There might be fewer categories when it comes to gender and sexual preferences but that doesn’t mean we’re stuck in any single one for life.
The Bingo Theory is a new take on the old struggle between men and women understanding each other; it details how we all have feminine and masculine energy. The journey to find the yin-yang balance within each of us is sometimes a windy road, sometimes a personal struggle. At most times it’s a changing dynamic but the central idea is that we must love our whole, balanced selves.
The only constant in life is change. Once we accept that truth, life flows more easily. Gilbert changed her sexual preferences. So what? Does that make her more or less of a person? Of course not – she has changed and yet is still ‘her.’ When someone alters their political, religious, or food preferences, they only disappoint the other ‘side’ for those keeping score. Why keep score?
Love is actually a simple thing. We choose to make it complicated. Society’s watchful eyes quickly pass judgment without the premise and underpinnings of love. If we simply change our viewpoints to think of each person through a loving lens, imagine the shift in perception.
“When you establish peace, when you establish love, when you establish kindness [inside], you cannot act any other way to the outside world.”
~ Mimi Ikonn, Author of The Bingo Theory
Whether it be a famous celebrity or a close loved one, a male or female, homosexual or heterosexual, what’s the difference? If they are happy, operating from a place of love, and sharing that love with another person – what’s to shame? who’s to blame? The answer is always simple: just love!
“You don’t need to justify your love, you don’t need to explain your love, you just need to practice your love. Practice creates the master.”
~ Don Miguel Ruiz, Author of The Mastery of Love
Gilbert speaks on the key to happiness in relationships in the video below:
YouTube Channel: PBS
Featured image via QNews
h/t The Guardian