Infertility can be a long, lonely struggle. Those who endure it often feel isolated and seem to think that everyone else can easily have children.
My husband and I faced infertility for 5 years before we got our twin boys through In Vitro Fertilization (IVF). There are so many of us out there! You’re not alone. Need more proof? Check out just some of the available books and resources about this emotional and personal issue.
1. Unsung Lullabies by Janet Jaffe, David Diamond, and Martha Diamond
This book was written by three psychologists who combine their professional expertise in reproductive psychology with their own infertility experiences. They offer advice on mourning loss and facing disappointment, helping you and your partner cope with this emotional journey, and reducing feelings of helplessness. Although nothing can replace getting direct counseling if needed, this book comes close.
2. The Infertility Cure: The Ancient Chinese Wellness Program For Getting Pregnant and Having Healthy Babies by Randine Lewis
Although I disagree with the title choice, because the causes of infertility are too numerous and broad for there to be one “cure,” I can appreciate the author’s holistic approach to help some couples get pregnant without expensive technology. The author uses alternative methods to promote fertility health, and they worked for her. Even if you need technological help, like we did, you can still improve your mental and physical health to increase your odds. When you want kids that badly, you’re willing to try just about anything.
3. Laughing IS Conceivable by Lori Shandle-Fox
One essential infertility survival tool is maintaining a sense of humor. When we did IVF treatment, my husband loved saying that he “shot” me every night. The author, a former stand-up comic, points out the sad, but oddly still hilarious, aspects of battling infertility, such as referring to her uterus as a “money pit.” From being nice to the clinic staff so they don’t “spit on your eggs” to joking about losing your mind, anyone going through infertility can relate to her experiences and actually laugh about the situation.
Yep, it’s possible to laugh. And necessary.
4. Conquering Infertility: Dr. Alice Domar’s Mind/Body Guide to Enhancing Fertility and Coping with Infertility by Alice Domar and Alice Lesch Kelly
This book aims to help infertility couples change their mindset and overcome the depression that often follows being unable to do what comes so easily to others. While many people say the unhelpful advice, “Just relax, and it’ll happen,” Dr. Domar offers actual methods to reduce stress and overwhelming sadness.
Let’s not forget the menfolk in our infertility talk. Male infertility contributes to about 30% of all infertility cases and alone accounts for about 1 in 5 cases of infertility. The author of How To Make Love To A Plastic Cup provides men, who typically won’t ask for directions, with an honest and comical GPS for infertility and specifically IVF.
6. Infertility Survival Guide: Everything You Need To Know To Cope With The Challenges While Maintaining Your Sanity, Dignity, And Relationships by Judith Daniluk
With a focus on managing stress and communicating with your partner, this book offers practical tips and psychological insight for couples facing infertility.
One of the most frightening and real possibilities with infertility is that you might not ever conceive or have biological children. This author also addresses how to know when it’s time and how to move on. She walks readers through that sensitive decision and the feelings that often accompany it.
And a bonus . . .
I realize this is a website and not a book, but I thought I’d throw this useful gem into the advice mix as well. Above all else, Creatingafamily.org is an education non-profit organization about infertility and adoption. They provide support and unbiased information at all stages of infertility and adoption.
If reading books doesn’t help, try finding a support group, such as ones that can be found on this website. It also has a huge list of infertility blogs and forums where you can find others who have been there and done that. Plus, you can interact with them and connect directly with others struggling with the same thing you are.
What infertility books have helped you?
YouTube Channel: Mrs Crystal Allen
Featured image via DC On Heels