When I was a child I had recurring dreams about a bookstore. It was warm, safe, and smelled like old paper and new carpet. I loved dreaming of that place, except for the times when I ran in to the bookstore owner, who happened to be my dreaded 2nd grade teacher.

Here are 5 of the best fictional bookstore staff, rated out of 5 for sales skills and out of 5 for charm. Some are belligerent, some are generous and kind, all of them make me want to read.

 

1. Bernard Black – Black Books – Black Books

The man is borderline alcoholic, psychopathic and self-destructive. He has a strict set of rules in his shop, ever changing to suit his mood, and Lord help you if you break one. However, he is rarely without a book in his hand and he loves his shop like a child. I like to think of him as the Dr. Gregory House of book selling.

Sales 1/5
Charm 4/5

YouTube Channel: František Ullmann

2. Lauren Bacall – Acme Bookstore – The Big Sleep

A lot of bookstore staff are helpful, and friendly. However, not all staff would be willing to let a private detective use their store to stake out a store opposite. Even fewer would be intrigued enough to then close the store and drink Rye with the detective. Beguiling, well informed and eager to be involved in something big.

Sales 3/5
Charm 5/5

YouTube Channel: fandukaja

3. Senior Sempere – Sempere & Sons – The Angel’s Game

Any bookstore owner who tailors his recommendations to each customer’s personality (correctly) is up there with the best. If he can also be generous enough to forgo profit, in order to inspire young minds, he deserves a Nobel prize. This man and his successors radiate hope and kindness to those who have none in this fantastic trilogy.

Sales 5/5
Charm 3/5

the-angels-game
Source: Amazon

4. Comic Book Guy – The Androids Dungeon – The Simpsons

The man lives for his ‘art’. He is precious, juvenile and sarcastic to an unbearable degree. However, he is the kind of shop owner whose aloof manner and encyclopedic knowledge would have customers coming back religiously.

Sales 2/5
Charm (of sorts) 5/5

YouTube Channel: Torrent This TV

5. Mr. Koreander – The Bookstore – The Neverending Story

This purveyor of antique books has his act down pat. The look of an eccentric professor, enough belligerence to make sure the customer is genuine, and the forward thinking to manipulate the customer into ‘taking advantage’ when the opportunity ‘presents itself’. He may not seem like a kind grandfather, but he knows how to help someone learn a lesson. (If you can’t get enough of the classic book, check out some more magical recommendations, here!)

Sales 5/5
Charm 2/5

YouTube Channel: Movieclips Trailer Vault

 

Who did we miss? Which fictional store owner would you want to hand your money to? Let us know in the comments below!

 

Featured image via Pinterest

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