It’s okay, we can admit it: we’re a strange breed, us book-lovers. And we can seem at our strangest if – horror of horrors – non-readers come into contact with us. Everyone has a passion. It just so happens that ours comes in hardback, paperback and eBook forms. We have other hobbies, sure, but books and the reading of them take up a little more than fair bit of our time and attention.
In an effort to explain our quirks, here are some book-lover habits which may seem strange, but are actually perfectly normal – for us:
1. Leaving (And Reading) Books In Random Places
Most people have a bookshelf or two on which they stack a few titles. However, book-lovers don’t keep within those confines. We have books by our keys at the front door, stored in cupboards in the kitchen, waiting patiently for further reading next to the bread board, definitely stacking Jenga-style on the bedside table, and quite possibly in attendance in the downstairs toilet…
2. Talking About Fictional Characters As If They’re Real
As a book-lover, immersing oneself in a story can be a rather personal experience. We bond with the characters, think about them between readings (when we have to, you know, participate in real life and work), and definitely wonder about them long after the final page is read. There are so many emotions running through our head that we have to off-load: this is where you come in, as a flesh-and-blood human. Just nod or shake your head as required and you will have fulfilled your duty. If you can’t stand to do that, we have nothing to talk about.
3. Reading Through An Entire Conversation Without Hearing a Thing
Yes, it’s rude, it’s annoying, etc. But think about it for a moment. You come into a room and see us sitting with a book in our hands and you start talking. You go on and on, mistakenly believing we’ll respond as expected. When there is only silence, you start to become mad. Psst: we’re not actually in the room with you. We’re in the written world in our hands: you are mere background noise. Please go away.
4. Being Somewhat OCD About Our Bookshelves
It might be alphabetical, chronological, by genre, a chaotic mess, or whatever. If you borrow a book, just give it back to us – don’t even try to find the original place for it.
5. Waxing Lyrical About The Smell of Books
New books, old books, school books – they all have a different smell. We are connoisseurs on the perfume of books, of what some of us call biblichor.
6. Supersavers…Until We See A Bookstore
You’ll notice that we’re quite frugal people. Dinners out will be modest; supermarket shops will be plentiful only in reduced or long-life items. But walk with us into a bookstore and you will see our eyes light up and our fingers itch with the need to spend money, watch the cash burn, burn, burn as the book pile we take to the counter grows ever bigger in our arms.
7. The Ability To Spend Hours in A Bookstore or Library
The library card is a gift from heaven and divine is the ability to browse the aisles, collecting what our hearts desire without financial restriction. Just come get us after two or three hours if you’re bored.
8. Descending Into Heated Arguments On Literature
Every book lover at some point became inspired by tales of authors and their artist friends living the Bohemian life and talking about culture. Wine flowed and so too did conversation – all now recreated in our modest dining rooms. We’ve been practicing these debates since we lived at home with our parents. Be prepared.
9. We Possess VERY Strong Opinions About Book-To-Screen Adaptations
Err on the side of caution, i.e. “the book is always better.” Never, ever pronounce the movie superior. Violence to crockery or glassware could ensue. You’ve been warned.
10. Vacating With Few Clothes, But Many Books
My motto is, “Capsule wardrobe; plentiful travel library.” The benefit is we have seriously sexy biceps from all that heavy lifting.
Did I miss anything out, book-lovers?
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