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People Review Sexist Men’s ‘Dating Advice’ Books — Hilarity Ensues (VIDEO)

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First published at LiberalAmerica.org

Buzzfeed made a video featuring both men and women reviewing a few sexist and sleazy dating books.

people
(Image courtesy of YouTube screen capture)

Their reactions to the materials they read was priceless!

Millions of desperate men subscribe to dating advice sites, watch videos and buy books that promise them a skeleton key or “sneaky trick” that will open doors, or as they phrase it, open the legs of the opposite sex.

These books contain some of the most soul-crushing and damaging non-sense ever printed or produced for human minds to consume.

people
(Image courtesy of YouTube screen capture)

There are so many lonely guys out there who sit around wondering why they can’t seem to find a girlfriend. I can attest to once being one of those guys.

Here is a little secret “sneaky trick” that I’d learned when it comes to picking up women. Are you ready?

Don’t follow any advice from dating books that use the term “sneaky trick.”

Featured image via YouTube screen capture

The 16 Most Captivating Opening Lines Ever Written In A Book

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opening-lines-first-lines-books

First published at LiberalAmerica.org

I don’t know about you, but a book’s opening line plays a huge factor in whether or not I’ll continue reading it. Interesting first lines have that power — the power to entice a reader enough to keep turning that page. Sometimes these lines are funny, sometimes they’re scary, and sometimes they are just so damn moving that you just want to tear the book apart (metaphorically… usually) to figure out what’s going on.

If I find the blurb on the back to be really engaging, then I might stick around for a few chapters, but if I’m already “meh” about the story, then the writer’s first couple of pages better damn well hold my attention.

Fortunately, this does happen fairly often, and I’ve read through a number of books that hooked me from the very first line. Sure, sometimes the first sentence is great while the rest of the story makes you want to set yourself on fire instead of reading it (or you could, y’know, just put the book down – just saying), but, hey, nobody’s perfect.

1. “I don’t know how other men feel about their wives walking out on them, but I helped mine pack.” – Breaking Up by W.H. Manville

At least he was kind enough to help her pack.

Amazon
The Neglected Books Page

 

2. “It wasn’t until I had become engaged to Miss Piano that I began avoiding her.” – Into Your Tent I’ll Creep by Peter DeVries

Honestly, the title of this one was enough to hold my interest. Which probably says more about me than I’d like.

Amazon
Amazon

 

3. “Balloon Tying For Christ was the cheapest balloon manual I could find.” – Clown Girl by Monica Drake

Everybody loves balloons.

Amazon
Amazon

 

4. “I write this sitting in the kitchen sink.” – I Capture the Castle by Dodie Smith

Why is she sitting in the kitchen sink? Why not the bathroom sink? Why not perched upon her dresser? WHY?!

Amazon
Amazon

 

5. “How five crows managed to lift a twenty-pound baby boy into the air was beyond Prue, but that was certainly the least of her worries.” – Wildwood by Colin Meloy

What could possibly be happening that the least of her worries was a baby being abducted by birds? Also, teamwork. It was probably teamwork. Crows are cool like that.

Amazon
Amazon

 

6. “A white Pomeranian named Fluffy flew out of the a fifth-floor window in Panna, which was a grand-new building with the painter’s scaffolding still around it. Fluffy screamed.” – Sacred Games by Vikram Chandra

As someone whose neighbor has the Pomeranian from Hell, I was very happy with this line. By the way, “Pomeranian from Hell” would be a great book title.

Amazon
Amazon

 

7. “It can hardly be a coincidence that no language on earth has ever produced the expression ‘As pretty as an airport.” The Long Dark Tea-Time of the Soul by Douglas Adams

I don’t know, I’ve seen some nice airports in my day. Three, to be exact… in magazines.

Amazon
Amazon

 

8. “This is my favorite book in all the world, though I have never read it.” – The Princess Bride by William Goldman

Me, when people ask me what I thought about their work. Yes, I’m an ass.

Amazon
Amazon

 

9. “If you’re going to read this, don’t bother.” – Choke by Chuck Palahniuk

The only thing I hate more than reverse psychology is being challenged… Wait. Damn it.

Amazon
Amazon

10. “Mr. and Mrs. Dursley, of number four, Privet Drive, were proud to say that they were perfectly normal, thank you very much. They were the last people you’d expect to be involved in anything strange or mysterious, because they just didn’t hold with such nonsense.” – Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone by J.K. Rowling

You know (or hope) that when people are being described as perfectly normal, stuff is about to get messed up.

Amazon
Amazon

 

11. “It was a pleasure to burn.” – Fahrenheit 451 by Ray Bradbury

So this book is set in Miami? Or Hell. (I really hope it’s Hell.)

Amazon
Amazon

 

12. “All of this happened, more or less.” – Slaughterhouse-Five by Kurt Vonnegut

I don’t have a funny remark about this one – it just caught my attention enough to keep reading.

Amazon
Amazon

 

13. “A screaming comes across the sky.” – Gravity’s Rainbow by Thomas Pynchon

Yeah… that was probably me receiving my bills. Sorry.

Amazon
Amazon

 

14. “It was a bright cold day in April, and the clocks were striking thirteen.” – 1984 by George Orwell

Striking thirteen what? Don’t beat people with clocks. Wait, are the clocks sentient and attacking people on their own? Now that’s a story.

Amazon
Amazon

 

15. “The sky above the port was the color of television, tuned to a dead channel.” – Neuromancer by William Gibson

Ha. Channel. Port. Get it? Like the English Channel? I love puns. I also love clever descriptions like that one.

Amazon
Amazon

 

16. “We started dying before the snow, and like the snow, we continued to fall.” – Tracks by Louise Erdrich

And emotionally moving similes – like this one.

Amazon
Amazon

Pharrell Asked Some Kids Why They Love Reading And It Was Absolutely Adorable

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This is one of those things that you never knew the world needed until you saw that it was going to happen! Pharrell Williams is turning his hit single “Happy” into a children’s book.

Here’s the cover:

G.P. Putnam’s Sons Books for Young Readers
G.P. Putnam’s Sons Books for Young Readers

Pharrell shares why he wanted to do this book:

“Putting happy into a book for kids was an opportunity to give the message yet another platform. You can see that there’s been a spark,” Pharell says in the video (below).

Here’s a trailer with Pharrell asking kids what makes them happy (and one little girl adorably asking Pharrell what makes him happy).

Know what makes them happy? Reading. Because, as this little girl said:

Screengrab via YouTube, image via BuzzFeed
Screengrab via YouTube, image via BuzzFeed

But wait…there’s more. Pharrell is also doing a campaign with Penguin Books called #ReadHappy. If you use that hashtag when you post photos and tweets about about why reading makes you happy, Penguin Books will donate a book to Firstbook, a nonprofit for helping kids get books and educational resources.

And check this out: they will donate up to 50,000 books. That’s a LOT of happy.

What makes me happy? Cool guys like Pharrell who do cool stuff like this.

Buy your copy of Happy at Amazon on October 6th.