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Oh No She Didn’t! 15 Sassy And Shady Insults From Literature

I don’t know about you, but I love a good comeback. Or a put-down. Sometimes, just a straight up insult will do. Because people often just deserve it, you know?

A dirty little secret of mine is that I read to see what I would never have the courage to do in the real world. Maybe it’s high profile adventure and heroic bravado, but sometimes I want to see the antagonist (or anyone, really) put in their place. Insults can be the pinnacle of wit, if used correctly and sparingly.

Here are 15 quotes from 13 works of literature. (Shakespeare is not included due to how many there are and how obvious he is as a source.)

 

1. Harry Potter and the Order of Phoenix by J.K. Rowling

“Just because you’ve got the emotional range of a teaspoon doesn’t mean we all have.” –Hermione Granger

“Warrington’s aim is so pathetic, I’d be more worried if he was aiming at the person next to me.” — Harry Potter

Source: Amazon

Source: Amazon

2. What A Dragon Should Know by G.A. Aiken

“Are you in great physical pain, or is that your thinking expression?” — Dagmar Reinholdt

Source: Amazon

Source: Amazon

3. Timequake by Kurt Vonnegut

“If your brains were dynamite, there wouldn’t be enough to blow your hat off.” — Narration

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Source: Amazon

4. The Lion and the Unicorn by George Orwell

“He was simply a hole in the air.” — Narration

Source: Amazon

Source: Amazon

5. The Importance of Being Earnest by Oscar Wilde

“I never saw anybody take so long to dress, and with such little result.” — Algernon

“I am glad to say I have never seen a spade. It is obvious our social spheres have been widely different.” — Gwendolen

Source: Amazon

Source: Amazon

6. The Long Goodbye by Raymond Chandler

“You talk too goddamn much and it’s too goddamn much about you.” — Phillip Marlowe

Source: Amazon

Source: Amazon

7. Murder on the Orient Express by Agatha Christie

“If you will forgive me for being personal, I don’t like your face.” — Hercule Poirot

Source: Amazon

Source: Amazon

8. The Sun Also Rises by Ernest Hemingway

“I misjudged you. You are not a moron. You’re only a case of arrested development.” — Harvey Stone

Source: Amazon

Source: Amazon

9. The Adventures of Sally by P.G. Wodehouse

“And she’s got brains enough for two, which is the exact quantity the girl who marries you will need.” — Sally Nicholas

Source: Amazon

Source: Amazon

10. Why Me? The Autobiography of Sammy Davis Jr. by Sammy Davis, Burt Boyar, and Jane Boyar

“God made Sammy as ugly looking as He could and then hit him in the face with a shovel.” — Narration

Source: Amazon

Source: Amazon

11. A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur’s Court by Mark Twain

“He wasn’t a very heavy weight, intellectually. His head was an hourglass; it could stow an idea, but it had to do it one grain at a time, not the whole idea at once.” — Narration

Source: Amazon

Source: Amazon

12. A Feast for Crows by George R. R. Martin

“The man is as useless as nipples on a breastplate.” — Cersei Lannister

Source: Amazon

Source: Amazon

13. Gone With the Wind by Margaret Mitchell

“Frankly my dear, I don’t give a damn.” — Rhett Butler

Source: Amazon

Source: Amazon

What’s your favorite sassy, shade throwing moment in literature?

YouTube Channel: POPSUGAR Girls’ Guide

 

Featured image via Newscult