Pickup lines. Women hate ‘em, men love to use ‘em. Women cringe when they hear them, men grin as they give them. Women roll their eyes, men roll with the punches. Most of the time, though, these lines are pretty darn funny.
You gotta know your audience, boys. If you’re eyeing up an athlete, you should use lines like “If I buy a soccer ball, will you kick it with me?” Or maybe if there’s a cute girl in your Geometry class, you say “Are you a 90 degree angle? Cause you look just right.”
If it’s a lovely literary lady that you’re trying to impress, I suggest you go with a more bookish pickup line. Lucky for you, I have a whole list of them for you to choose from!
For book lovers in general, I suggest using one of these first 14. I would 100% give a guy credit for hitting me up with one of these!
1. Is that a hardcover or are you just happy to see me?
2. You remind me of a best-seller list, and I’m like a book; I could be on you for weeks.
3. Are you a library book? Cause I can’t stop checking you out.
4. You’re at the top of my Amazon wishlist.
5. If you were a book, I’d stay up all night reading.
6. I want to sit across the room from you reading quietly so hard right now.
7. You had me at “Preface.”
8. I’m like a good thriller; once I start you won’t want to stop.
9. If you were a book, I’d need glasses, cause you’d definitely be fine print.
10. Your body is so bangin, what do you say we make a sequel?
11. You’re so sexy, I’d even let you fold my pages dog-eared style.
12. You’re so hunky, you must be hiding a rapidly aging portrait somewhere in your attic.
13. Have you heard of Bookslut? Yeah, they named it after me.
14. We could make such a beautiful library together.
If you’re looking for more specific lines that involve book titles, go with one of these gems. You’re pretty much guaranteed a dazzling response!
15. Are you reading Fahrenheit 451? Cause damn, you’re smoking.
16. I can live up to all of your Great Expectations.
17. You can be the Lord of my Flies and unzip them anytime you want.
18. It would be both a Crime and Punishment if you didn’t let me take you out.
19. What do you say we get out of here and find A Room of One’s Own?
20. Will you be the Tropic of Cancer to my Delta of Venus?
21. I’d never say “Farewell” to those Arms.
22. I’d love you in all the times, including in the Time of Cholera.
23. I’m no Jane, but I’d Eyre on the side of saying I think you’re beautiful.
24. I’d like to end your Age of Innocence.
25. I’d like to Catch 22 of you.
Honestly, guys, know your audience. If a guy used any of these with me, the outcome would be non-fiction. There would be absolutely no Shades of Delay. I’d be turning his phone into Lord of the Pings. He’d be Lady Snapchatterly’s new lover. He would be going Homer with me.
You get the idea.
(Is my boyfriend reading this?)
YouTube Channel: Aphmau
Featured image via Vitamin-Ha