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Here Are 20 Funny And Cheeky Book Quotes To Brighten Your Day

In Authors, Book Lovers, Human Interest, Humor, Lists, Quotes by Cierra Loften

Because nothing can’t be overcome by a few good, belly-aching laughs, I present you with twenty smile-worthy lines from literature both past and modern!

 

1. “You should eat a waffle! You can’t be sad if you eat a waffle!”

~ Lauren Myracle, ttfn

Source: Giphy

Source: Giphy

2. Martha: “You make me puke.” George: “That wasn’t a very nice thing to say.”

~ Edward Albee, Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf?

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Source: Amazon

3. “‘Manners, Potter,'” said Snape dangerously.”‘Now, I want you to close your eyes.'” Harry threw him a filthy look before doing as he was told. He did not like the idea of standing there with his eyes shut while Snape faced him, carrying a wand.”

~ J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix

Source: Giphy

Source: Giphy

4. “At his usual time [Alexey Alexandrovitch] got up and made his toilet for the night.”

~ Leo Tolstoy, Anna Karenina 

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Source: Amazon

5. “I come from Des Moines. Somebody had to.”

~ Bill Bryson, The Lost Continent:Travels in Small-Town America

Source: Giphy

Source: Giphy

6. “It is a truth universally acknowledged that a zombie in possession of brains must be in want of more brains.”

~ Seth Grahame-Smith and Jane Austen, Pride And Prejudice And Zombies

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Source: Amazon

7. “How five crows managed to lift a twenty-pound baby boy into the air was beyond Prue, but that was certainly the least of her worries.”

~ Colin Meloy, Wildwood: The Wildwood Chronicles Vol. One

Source: Giphy

Source: Giphy

8. “For the better part of my childhood, my professional aspirations were simple–I wanted to be an intergalactic princess.”

~ Janet Evanovich, Seven Up (Stephanie Plum Book #7)

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Source: Amazon

9. “It wasn’t until I had become engaged to Miss Piano that I began avoiding her.”

~ Peter De Vries, Into Your Tent I’ll Creep

Source: Giphy

Source: Giphy

10. “The morning after noted child prodigy Colin Singleton graduated from high school and got dumped for the 19th time by a girl named Katherine, he took a bath. Colin had always preferred baths.”

~ John Green, An Abundance Of Katherines

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Source: Amazon

11. “Every summer Lin Kong returned to Goose Village to divorce his wife, Shuyu.”

~ Ha Jin, Waiting

Source: Giphy

Source: Giphy

12. “We’re going to tell you about three of the children in Mrs. Jewls’s class, on the thirtieth story of Wayside School. But before we get to them, there is something you ought to know. Wayside School was accidentally built sideways. It was supposed to be only one story high, with thirty classrooms all in a row. Instead, it is thirty stories high, with one classroom on each story. The builder said he was very sorry.”

~ Louis Sachar, Sideways Stories From Wayside School

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Source: Amazon

13. “When a day that you happen to know is Wednesday starts off by sounding like Sunday, there is something seriously wrong somewhere.”

~ John Wyndham, The Day of the Triffids

Source: Giphy

Source: Giphy

14. “It can hardly be a coincidence that no language on earth has ever produced the expression ‘As pretty as an airport.'”

~ Douglas Adams, The Long Dark Tea-Time of the Soul

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Source: Amazon

15. “This is my favorite book in all the world, though I have never read it.”

~ William Goldman, The Princess Bride

Source: Giphy

Source: Giphy

16. “Accept who you are. Unless you’re a serial killer.”

~ Ellen DeGeneres, Seriously… I’m Kidding

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Source: Amazon

17. “They love their hair because they’re not smart enough to love something more interesting.”

~ John Green, Looking for Alaska

Source: Giphy

Source: Giphy

18. “Everyone should be able to do one card trick, tell two jokes, and recite three poems, in case they are ever trapped in an elevator.”

~ Lemony Snicket, Horseradish

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Source: Amazon

19. “‘Do you ever think if people heard our conversations they’d lock us up?’ ‘All the time.'”

~ Wendy Mass, Jeremy Fink and the Meaning of Life

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Source: Giphy

20. “What makes big boobs and perkiness so attractive to boys? I mean, really. Two round, mounds of fat and a fake smile. Yeah, winning attributes.”

~ Gena Showalter, Oh My Goth

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Source: Amazon

Which other funny quotes from books would you add to this list?

YouTube Channel: JStuStudios

 

Featured image via Sketch Port

h/t Stylist, Short List, Goodreads