Although we’ve already found some weird book titles before, they are everywhere! I don’t know if we’ll ever find them all. So enjoy another installment of awkward and hilarious book titles!
1. Crafting with Cat Hair: Cute Handicrafts to Make with Your Cat by Amy Hirschman and Kaori Tsutaya
Finally, crazy cat ladies–uh, I mean, cat lovers–have an outlet for all the cat hair that accumulates around the house. Some of the felt crafts made from the cat hair actually don’t look bad. But you might want to keep to yourself where the felt came from. No one needs to know how much time you’ve spent with your cats and their hair.
No, this isn’t a creepy confession memoir of a Peeping Tom. By the way, I never understood the advice to envision the audience naked. How would that be comforting to anyone, except Peeping Tom?
We all read as an escape at some point, but if you don’t want to think, don’t read a book! And wouldn’t the author want his readers to think? It’s the website’s users who shouldn’t have to think too hard. Sorry, but someone at some point has to think.
4. How To Breathe: The Symptoms If You Get It Wrong and How to Fix It by Sally Gething
Breathing comes pretty naturally to most people who are, you know, alive. Symptoms of not breathing right are usually pretty clear: wheezing, turning blue, dying, or being dead. And chances are, if you’re experiencing those symptoms, you won’t be able to read this book to learn how to fix it. (Believe me I’ve been in situations when conscious, deep breathing, which this book is about, has helped me calm down and ease pain. But this title!)
5. Softy the Poop: Helping Families Talk about Poop by Thomas R DuHamel PhD
I understand needing to help families talk about bowel movements, in case a constipation problem arises with a child. But do we really need to talk to our poop? The last thing I want my kids to do is interact with their poop with a smile on their face. Look at that cover! That’s a Clorox commercial waiting to happen.
6. Do You Want to Play with My Balls? by the Cifaldi Brothers
Yep, you read that right, and the whole book is like that. Although the youngest readers won’t get the double entendre, kids catch on pretty fast and know a lot of adult euphemisms. Chances are kids as young as four or five will get the reference. And when they do, good luck teaching them not to tell everyone they meet about playing with their “ball sack.” As the Amazon description says, it is more a funny “children’s book parody for adults.” However, I don’t think it will “make every member of your family vomit with glee.” Who vomits with glee?
7. K is for Knifeball: An Alphabet of Terrible Advice by Jory John
Imagine reading an alphabet book with your toddler and saying, “O is for opening things with your teeth.” Like this, mama? If you want your child to survive beyond age 18 with most limbs and teeth in tact, this probably isn’t a book you want to read to them. It is meant for the inner-children of adults, who may sheepishly admit with a smirk that they have done some of these things.
8. Living Above the Level of Mediocrity by Charles R. Swindoll
We don’t want to aim too high–just high enough to be above that average mark.
9. How to Read a Book: The Classic Guide to Intelligent Reading by Mortimer J. Adler and Charles Van Doren
You can find self-help books about practically every subject and for nearly every skill level. If we ignore the subtitle, learning to read from square one is probably one of the few things that a book can’t teach us. Once we get going, sure, reading practice is the best way to get better at reading.
10. I’d Really Like to Eat a Child by Sylviane Donnio
This may not be the best night-time book. I can just hear my kids screaming from nightmares already.
What funny book titles have you seen?
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