Let’s face it: we’re probably not going to keep our New Year’s resolutions to lose 50 pounds, travel the world, quit drinking, or suddenly kick our workaholicism and spend more time with friends and family. There are, however, plenty of resolutions that we can keep. Anna Kendrick, author of newly released Scrappy Little Nobody, has plenty of advice and suggestions for people who need a little inspiration (don’t call them “life hacks,” though: she’ll probably throw a knife at your face). Check them out below:
1. Don’t Settle For Being “Nice”
“Nice is different from good … I gave up on being Nice. I started putting more value on other qualities instead: passion, bravery, intelligence, practicality, humor, patience, fairness, sensitivity.”
2. Let The Crazy Out!
“People ask me now if I get nervous about being ‘too’ honest on social media. The alternative is much more terrifying. The crazy wants out.”
3. Have Fun With Fashion–Don’t Let It Rule Your Life
“If you’re feeling crappy because you accidentally scrolled through Gigi Hadid’s Instagram, remember, it’s just fashion. It’s supposed to be fun.”
4. Dive Right Into Life’s Craziest Dichotomies
“At home I get to sit on my couch, put on an old episode of 30 Rock, and eat mac and cheese in sweatpants and thousands of dollars’ worth of diamonds. It is the most delicious dichotomy I’ve encountered in my life.”
5. Embrace The Fact That You Will Never Be 100% Perfect
“Balance? Moderation? Discipline? These are just the many names for “smug” used by the bitches who lie to us on their lifestyle blogs. That’s right, Clean Food Cross Fit Mom1, I know you’ve got a pile of fun-size Almond Joys in your glove compartment. Now go sit in your driveway and eat your candy while masturbating to Tom Hardy like a real woman!”
6. Find Creative Ways To Get Back At Your Ex
“I ran into Landon about a year after we broke up and immediately realized I didn’t hate him at all, and we’ve been close friends since. His favorite thing to do is drag me to Starbucks even though he knows I don’t drink coffee anymore. My favorite thing to do is whisper ‘He beats me’ to the barista when Landon turns his back.“
7. Don’t Buy Super Expensive Things–Buy Cheap Clothes And Get Them Tailored!
“Short girls: get it tailored. For GOD’S SAKE, get it tailored! … Also, take in the sleeve! That’s the BEST trick I’ve learned for tops and jackets to look right on us shorties.”
8. Wear The Spanx
“Wear the Spanx. You might not want to squeeze them over your ass in the morning, but when you see that mac and cheese at lunch (do it, you beautiful monster) you’ll be glad they’re there, doing the Lord’s work.”
9. Throw A…Memorable…Christmas Party
“I’ve always dreamed of being a world-class hostess. I’m talking about chic-ass, highly detailed, ‘Suck on that, Pinterest’-style parties … Christmas is the ultimate party opportunity. To get through the door, “guests [would] have to sing their favorite Christmas carol … The food would be inspired by Game of Thrones … There’s a game of Yankee Swap with gag gifts once everyone is drunk enough to think a Shake Weight is hilarious. Then a Will Ferrell impersonator performs a scene from Elf once everyone is drunk enough to think it’s actually Will Ferrell.”
10. “Get Off Your Ass And Fight, Woman!”
“I rarely give advice … but as a suggestion, find your most psychotic baby picture and have it on hand for those days when you want to throw in the towel … I put [my] picture on my desk so that when I feel sorry for myself, her fearsome little face will be staring at me, saying, ‘Get off your ass and fight, woman!'”
Happy New Year, bookworms!
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Featured image via The Daily Beast