Despite his many requests to stop reading the books, Lemony Snicket (aka Daniel Handler) hooked us with his witty yet heartbreaking dialogues as well as consistent characters. The tragic story of the three Baudelaire orphans and their incessant antagonist, Count Olaf, became more complex as the saga continued unto its 13th and final piece.

Enjoy 26 quotes from all of the 13 books in A Series of Unfortunate Events!*

*Which is soon to turn into a Netflix show. Therefore, let us celebrate.


The Bad Beginning

1. “First impressions are often entirely wrong. Your initial opinion on just about anything may change over time.”

2. “The worst surroundings in the world can be tolerated if the people in them are interesting and kind.”

Source: Amazon

The Reptile Room

3. “When somebody is a little bit wrong, it is often quite easy to explain to them how and why they are wrong. But if somebody is surpassing wrong–say, when a waiter bites your nose instead of taking your order–you can often be so surprised that you are unable to say anything at all.”

4. “Waiting is one of life’s hardships. It is hard enough to wait for chocolate cream pie while burnt roast beef is still on your plate.”

Source: Amazon

The Wide Window

5. “For some stories, it’s easy. The moral of The Three Bears, for instance, is ‘Never break into someone else’s house.’ The moral of Snow White is ‘Never eat apples.’ The moral of World War I is ‘Never assassinate Archduke Ferdinand.'”

6. “Tears are curious things, for like earthquakes or puppet shows, they can occur at any time, without any warning and without any good reason.”

Source: Amazon

The Miserable Mill

7. “If someone had told me, that day at the beach, that before long I’d find myself using my four teeth to scrape the bark off trees, I would have said they were psychoneurotically disturbed.”

8. “It is much, much worse to receive bad news through the written word than by somebody simply telling you. When somebody simply tells you bad news, you hear it once, and that’s the end of it. But when bad news is written down, each time you read it, you feel as if you are receiving the news again and again.”

Source: Amazon

The Austere Academy

9. “Mr. Poe meant well, but a jar of mustard probably also means well and would do a better job of keeping the Baudelaires out of danger.”

10. “It is a relief, in hectic and frightening times, to find true friends. Friends can make you feel that the world is smaller and less sneaky than it really is, because you know people who have similar experiences.”

Source: Amazon

The Ersatz Elevator

11. “It was darker than a pitch-black panther, covered in tar, eating black licorice at the very bottom of the deepest part of the Black Sea.”

12. “All of the food that Café Salmonella served had something to do with salmon. There is nothing particularly wrong with salmon, of course, but like caramel candy, strawberry yogurt, and liquid carpet cleaner, if you eat too much of it you are not going to enjoy your meal.”

Source: Amazon

The Vile Village

13. “Nobody knows what an idea will do when it goes off to entertain itself, particularly if the idea comes from a sinister villain.”

14. “If you are baking a pie for your friends, and you read an article entitled ‘How to Build a Chair’ instead of a cookbook, your pie will probably end up tasting like wood and nails instead of like crust and fruity filling.”

Source: Amazon

The Hostile Hospital

15. “I can see the headline now: ‘Murderer Attempts To Murder Murderer.'”

16. “‘Pietrisycamollaviadelrechiotemexity,’ Sunny said, which you will probably recall means something along the lines of ‘I must admit I don’t have the faintest idea of what is going on.’ Sunny had now said this particular thing three times over the course of her life, and she was beginning to wonder if this was something she was only going to say more and more as she grew older.”

Source: Amazon

The Carnivorous Carnival

17. “Miracles are like meatballs, because nobody can exactly agree on what they are made of, where they come from, or how often they should appear.”

18. “It is hard for decent people to stay angry at someone who has burst into tears, which is why it is often a good idea to burst into tears if a decent person is yelling at you.”

Carnivorous Carnival
Source: Amazon

The Slippery Slope

19. “I can no more suggest the reading of this woeful book than I can recommend wandering around the woods by yourself, because like the road less traveled, this book is likely to make you feel lonely, miserable, and in need of help.”

20. “I know that having a good vocabulary doesn’t guarantee that I’m a good person, but it does mean I’ve read a great deal. And in my experience, well-read people are less likely to be evil.”

Source: Amazon

The Grim Grotto

21. “‘When you think of me,’ she said quietly, ‘think of a food you love very much.'”

22. “People aren’t either wicked or noble. They’re like chef’s salads, with good things and bad things chopped and mixed together in a vinaigrette of confusion and conflict.”

Source: Amazon

The Penultimate Peril

23. “Some people think destiny is something you cannot escape, such as death or a curdled cheesecake, both of which always turn up sooner or later.”

24. “One can remain alive long past the usual date of disintegration if one is unafraid of change, insatiable in intellectual curiosity, interested in big things, and happy in small ways.”

Source: Amazon

The End

25. “Sooner or later, everyone’s story has an unfortunate event or two. The solution, of course, is to stay as far away from the world as possible and lead a safe, simple life.”

26. “It is a curious thing, but as one travels the world getting older and older, it appears that happiness is easier to get used to than despair.”

Source: Amazon

Which was your favorite book in the series?

YouTube Channel: Adam Dougal


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